Feel something stronger & brighter

2009-11-08T23:21:00.004+08:00

GONE. (658 posts, R.I.P seraphicmasquerade)

I THINK I'M LEAVING BLOGGER FOR LJ BECAUSE I FEEL MORE SECURED THERE. I CAN LOCK MY POST, OUT OF SIGHT OF BITCHES BASTARDS AND SCUMS.

Ask for it.

2009-11-07T16:54:00.000+08:00

I could sense something wrong. And I know I'm right.

2009-11-07T14:20:00.001+08:00

如果有一天，

你人生的目标或最喜欢的事

你不再拥有

而眼前完全摸不清方向，

你会怎么办？

2009-11-04T21:49:00.000+08:00

New itouch :)

2009-11-04T14:40:00.002+08:00

Point form post:

#1. Can't help but think of the tragic accident that happened today, with shoes thrown a few metres away and blood stains on the road :(

#2. Hailed a cab at side gate to go to school. Nice uncle didn't charge us :)

#3. Screwed physics paper >:(

#4. I was enlightened :o

#5. No more NJC, no more AC. JJ, here I come :l

#6. Pray that my uncle will have a successful operation :/

#7. O's, gone with the wind.

我清醒了，

其实我也只不过是你迈向成功的踏脚石。

成功了就甩开了我，独自享受着众人的目光。

我们，应该连朋友都称不上吧？

2009-10-27T11:02:00.002+08:00

"知人知面不知心。"

听过吧？

知道了，懂了，明白了。

我明白自己需要的是什么，也知道自己不要的是什么。

我不需要你的虚伪，

我不需要你的假面具。

其实，我也明白了在我心底，我不需要你。

因为你也从来没有为了我而把你心里的某个位置空出来。

每个人，都有一段不堪回首的过去，

我也不想找回那段遗失的回忆。

我现在过得虽然不是很好，
但是某一天，你会看见我爬起来，

比今天更坚强，

更勇敢。

2009-10-20T20:12:00.004+08:00

有人，请给我一朵向日葵。

好让它能时时刻刻提醒我：

应该坚强点，乐观点。

没有必要因为一个不值得的人，

而浪费时间，难过，哭。

没必要。

不值得。

你会有朋友，是因为别人还没看清你。

我，

一天一天地，

学会了如何把人看透。

2009-10-17T23:59:00.008+08:00

做一个不可能的梦。

反复思考0跟1之间的距离

很近，会变得越来越自私

很远，会慢慢忘记了那感觉

当空虚被深夜包袱了一层黑

会安全得像在花中入睡

当黑夜离开时，

会不安的寻找安静，

只为那一丝丝的安全感

嘘..

有没有“水晶瓶”

或许那梦真的太美了美得让我不想醒来

或许我真的醒了只是我叫不醒我自己

当泪轻轻滑下

才能深刻的感觉真实的滋味...

我的感觉，

都在这里面...

2009-10-16T10:46:00.001+08:00

YESTERDAY, I SAW SOME HOPE.

IN IT, IN US.

2009-10-14T09:57:00.002+08:00

For those about to give up:

"Did you feel that lump in your throat and that pain in your heart when he left you?

Or when your friend said she'd always be there, but she wasn't?

Every time you look at your reflection you feel more disgusted with yourself?

Does every day feel like a struggle?

Or maybe this life is making you hate humanity more and more each day.

You are not the only person who will ever feel this way.

We all have the same emotions.

We all go through the same shit.

We all feel like ending it all at some point in our lives, but someone always cares.

Even if it doesn't seem as if they're there, they are.

Hidden nearby ready to catch you as you fall.

When you take that razor and drag it across your skin.

When you deny the food they offer you.

When you flinch as someone reaches out to touch you.

When you wake up in a cold sweat after the nightmare you had.

When you look in the mirror and cry.

That person is thinking of you.

Everyone feels the same once in a while, whether they hide it or not."

Today, I'm a pessimist. The sky appeared a little grayer than usual.

2009-10-09T22:25:00.002+08:00

KEEP MOVING, KEEP ON GOING.

Improved L1R5 by 13. You can see how badly I did but at least it's better. Go go go!

2009-10-08T21:43:00.004+08:00

HJTS

School has been pretty fine recently, minus skipping school and lessons :) K la, that's actually the fun part of it. Out of the whole sec 4 level, only 403 people skip lessons. Hahaha. Damn cool. School's supposed to end at 2.30pm today but by 12, people started going off already. The rest of us had lessons in the canteen. Fun and cool. Heh.

#1. I think my body's getting screwed up too.
#2. I like night study :D
#3. O's freaking me out. I am afraid of depression. I tell myself, I cannot commit suicide or else next time my parents can't depend on me.
#4. Conquer A maths.
#5. Self psyching. I'm smart :)

K bye.

2009-10-05T22:34:00.003+08:00

I THOUGHT I HAD MOVED ON.

But it was only till today that I realised I haven't.

I said that I wanted to let go,

only because I wanted to lift this burden from you,

and carry it myself.

2009-10-04T21:57:00.001+08:00

RESTART.

If only you taught me how to.

2009-10-03T18:03:00.004+08:00

现实的考验, 我们说好一起面对，

不管多久多远绝对不喊累。

期待每一个最好的明天，

我们说好谁也不放弃谁 :D

2009-10-02T20:12:00.002+08:00

Psychological fear.

I got fortune cookie #232 and it says: You will become more and more wealthy.

Wah, thanks fortune cookie :D I've been spending far too much. Knew this would happen if I kept my own bank card. I spent like over $500 for these few months. Not these few months, like perhaps within 2 months -.- on unnecessary stuffs. I hope I won't splurge again. I feel so damn guilty though I paid for it myself, or maybe my mum is paying half of it for me. Ugh. I really have to work very hard next time to earn more money for them 'cos its not like I come from those bloody rich family and have lots of money, but my mama always tries to give me everything I want. Omg, bloody guilty T.T

Do well for Os, study hard, I guess that's what I can do best:)

Prelims L1R5, 19, including normal chinese. So, bloody screwed up. 24days left. I will make it, I will make it. Before I study, an apple a day keeps the doctor away :D And actually I realised that I can live without computer. Hahaha, what a miracle.

K bye, time for Biology and Chinese!

2009-09-28T16:25:00.001+08:00

DEJECTED.

2009-09-27T19:46:00.005+08:00

Do the impossibles :)

WATCH ME.
Watch me, climb to the top.

29 days of war, I'll win it and make it through. Who are you to say that I can't? Wait & see :D I'll be the ultimate winner.

2009-09-26T16:46:00.005+08:00

I don't know where I would be without you staying with me.

Proper post after 2 days without posting :)

Decoder's cafe (24th Sept)
Went to decoder's cafe for some fun after school to celebrate end of Prelims! Haha, actually not, it's just to destress -.- Yea. My reaction is slow ttm. Haha. I asked for non xia suay games. Cos ugly ugly ugly was like o.o K I lost that game. Then we played a luck based game. We played two rounds okay. Then it was till the second time that they said that the winner had to do forfeit and I already had 2 cards with me! Need 3cards to win -.- Then obviously I won, damn lucky laaa T.T had to go to this stranger, tap her and then freeze for 15s but I said hi cos I forgot. Muahaha. Then played something else which I don't remember what's the title, strategy game and ??? Xuemiao did the most forfeit on that day. She had to take a pic with 2 strangers (which she got rejected for the first time) and then she had to be a christmas tree for us to dress up. Haha. Very fun. Xinyi's forfeit is like totally chicken feet to her lor. She just had to say hello! welcome! to the people. So easy. My forfeit is the most -.- of the day. Siva got away scott free. Pftt. But very fun la! :D Hahaha. First time I do dare k. There wasn't any truth -.- Lol.

Dental +CWP with Xianya (25th Sept)
Went for Dental at Marsiling Polyclinic. Then I handed my appointment card, the auntie gave me queue number, I was like, "I thought I have an appointment at 3.30pm" The auntie was like "Still have to wait. The world's is not turning fast enough then everyone want fast fast fast", then she started growling. Lol. I trimmed my teeth then done. The mouth rinse was sucky ttm. Damn bitter. Pft. (But anyway, the pain is back again today.)

Met Xuemiao at MRT to get the headphone. K la, not bad la. But I think my head is too bloody long. The adjustable band doesn't seem to help much. Lol -.- But then again, if I wear it another way, my head is not wide enough, it will drop -.- zz. Nevermind, shall find an alternative route.

Walked around with Xianya for very very very very long. Lol. She wants her mirror, clock and earrings. Searched for too long, photo frames became mirrors to me. Desperate attempt. Lol. In the end, Xianya bought a 30cm by 30cm mirror and a clock (at least 20cm for diameter) Funny ttm.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, for my Ipod touch :)

I spent a lot of money, a lot of money and a lot a lot of money!! Itouch will costs $280 :o

$$$$$$$, fei zou le -.-

2009-09-23T22:05:00.002+08:00

Trying to figure out what got us down.

The blogskin is bloody screwed. I don't like black backgrounds and yet I chose this because I can't find anything else. Nevermind, shall edit tomorrow. And to think I spent all my time on the blogskin = =

Itouch, headphones, Bigi bag and specs!! Pok $.$

I promise to blog properly and fully by this week!!!! I can't do it now because it's gonna be quite long I think and then I don't have enough time now because I've been hogging onto the computer for hours and my bro wants to use it. Poo.

Going to De Coder's cafe tomorrow to play! :D

And the Great Eastern people have been here since 8pm and yet to live. I want to go to the living room to eat Lays chips. Ew, go away :(

2009-09-22T18:40:00.003+08:00

Friends come and go but we've been through it all together.

2009-09-21T19:25:00.002+08:00

Don't let it stop you from smiling.

Author of Crayon Shin Chan died at the age of 54 (or is it 51?). Fell down a cliff because he went there alone on the 11th, fell and nobody knew. Why do people like to go to deserted areas alone. Don't risk your life. Just don't go mountain climbing or something :/ I sound very bad.

Anyway, I finished Biology topical TYS MCQ already :) I'll finish one whole book's MCQ before every exam :) And I dislike Chemistry ttm because I don't understand anything and I can't do any questions at all :( Why is this so?

Intense mugging!!!!

Feel like crying when nothing actually happened. Shitxzxzxzxzxz.

2009-09-20T21:44:00.003+08:00

You've left me drowning in the tears of memory.

Today was another day without feeling. Lol. Recently there's just no feelings la. Like seriously. But well, still things that I hope for but I don't know if they will come true. (I just realised some grammar errors in my Sept 18th post. Keep up, not keep out -.-)

Gonna study tmr, check out Levi's slippers and consider if I should buy another bag from Taiwan! Haha. (I withdraw half a month's allowance within 6 days, see how I'm gonna die when I reach the end of month!!) I should really start studying hard. All the best too, people! Study Biology! Haha. Bye bye.

我很庆幸有你在身边 :D

‘Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I’ll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
‘Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure, I’ll find another you

2009-09-19T18:48:00.003+08:00

Happy lunar 8th month :)

Lunar 7th month is finally over. Now I can step inside the cinema already. Haha. I made myself promise that I'll never step into the cinema then. For you know what reasons- better be safe then sorry! Lol.

But anyway, today was o.o no feelings day. Lol. Went to study with Sylvia. Did 2 maths papers. She was like damn distracted when doing work lor. Zz. Bought subway to eat right, that person didn't wrap it properly, I held my hp under it and then my hp was like covered with mayo after that!!! D: Wth. Tried to clean it like mad cos it was bloody oily and it reek of the smell. Pft.

What did the tomato told another tomato?
Catch-up!
(This thing made me laugh like shit k) Lol, but whatever la, it's like damn lame. Can't stand it but still it's very funny. Lol.

I want to play yahoo! games now. I'm damn bored :(

Just keep trying & trying
It's just a matter of time and
Though this grinding is tiring
Don't let it stop you from smiling
Just keep trying & trying
Sooner or later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspired
It's to see you shining
Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

2009-09-18T19:46:00.002+08:00

Deceptive facade

I don't know how to be strong when it's over
Can't face the lonely hour
It feels so wrong but it's right to tell you now
Oh I don't know why, I just wanna to cry
Oh why, It's time to let go but I want you to know
I'm sorry, I'm sorry that it's over now

Attempt to change blogskin but screwed manxzxz. Nevermind, I shall get off the computer and do work already. Emath! :) My calculator is back like tadahhh~

And yes, they're right. Some things ain't as simple as what it seems to be on the outside. They may have put on numerous masks, so thick that you can hardly see the real inner self. Why bother revealing them when they're keen to carry on hiding? Maybe someday, when they've met the right person, they will totally let down their guards, you won't see the thick layer of masks, all you see is who he/she really is. Actually, there is no need to try to read me sometimes because I, too, can't read myself at some points. Just trying my best to keep out with the world outside. Because, there's a chance that I may lose you in sight.

我能让你卸下心房吗？

2009-09-18T14:24:00.002+08:00

It's just like, we're not on the same track anymore.

I have a lot of things to say to you. Overdue stories that I kept in my heart.

2009-09-17T19:42:00.002+08:00

Happiness is worth the wait.

Screwed my prelims. Pissed about it. Upset about some issues. Disappointed in some people. Sick of some things. Enough of shit promises. Damn my life.

Sometimes, I really wished things stayed the way it was. Maybe I could have a chance to talk to you. I actually don't wish to be avoiding but I guess, it's what you'd prefer, what's better for me.

Anyone, please tell me your opinion on "friends forever"?

Untune.

2009-09-15T15:54:00.002+08:00

Pay the price of hurting one's heart.

My teeth hurts like -.- I totally can't bite on it and I don't know what's happening. Freak. I want to get it over and done with like seriously! I don't want to keep thinking of it. I think the dentist will drill my teeth open again :/ I'd ask them to inject first, sucks. And it costs like $50 to $90 just to do filling?! Scammer >.<

Do Chemistry do Chemistry, I'm gonna be a scientist, bomb the school's lab down :o Sheshh, don't understand why I'm studying triple science when I don't intend to be a doctor next time and why am I taking history, unless you're gonna let me rewrite history? Cool.

Okay, bye (Q&M, I'm waiting)

:'(

2009-09-14T20:46:00.002+08:00

Childlike innocence- to keep it or not.

I really did Stalin but I just crapped through because my mind went blank after I saw the Cold War questions. All on Gorbachev, glasnost thing. I did study, I did memorise but just can't apply to the questions, so I did Stalin. And same thing happened once again, I wrote Hitler on the paper. Haha. But I changed it back, cos I realised it. Hope there isn't any remaining Hitler on the paper. Lol.

我不知道該不該留住今天的天真
只要往前走就能看清這世界

I think I'm the only one who's like dying to keep my blog alive and comes online everyday. But I won't spend too long. So bye :o haha.

Chemistry + Amath= headache.

2009-09-13T22:11:00.003+08:00

Meet the right one at the right time.

Stalin sucks :( Damn, yet to start on the rest of the chapters. Still at chapter3. This time round, I think I'm dead again -.- shall use my superpower to guide me along! Super, goooo~

Gone with the wind.

2009-09-13T09:44:00.002+08:00

I'll be right here remembering

Gorbachev, Stalin, Hitler, Churchill, Lenin, Trotsky, Zinoviev, Kamenev etc, to death with you. Muahaha. I went crazy yesterday and I purged & sent people to gulags via sms! Heh heh. Damn fun. I was thinking of History as I was sleeping lor -.- noob.

But anyway, Bigi spree is back :D Gonna get that bag. I spend a lot of money but nevermind la hor, reward myself for the hard work! (Though results won't be good -.-) Work hard work hard, if people can do as well, why can't I? I'm smart!!!!!! I believe I am! Book smart plus street smart = smartest!!! Haha, wtvr. Never give up, never say die! (I typed never say hi, hahaha)

To hell with instincts because it made me held on to something tightly, can't give it up. But there's seriously a difference. I wonder if people said something, I wonder if I changed, Stop wondering and just get back to work. I seriously should.

2009-09-12T18:06:00.002+08:00

I can't hold on so won't you try as hard as you can to put my broken heart together again.

[ Super Zenny ] : 白米綠蔬多肥壯,　花飛蝶舞多徜徉! said:
:o
aiseh
mugger sia

So I've successfully become a mugger :D Haha, and only 24 hours left, gotta finish History by today! :( Hate Hitler and Stalin. I was doing Russia then I suddenly went mad and wrote Hitler on the paper. Wth. Hitler and Stalin so deserved to die. They made people suffer for so many many many generations, like till now. We're suffering because we have to learn what he did. Hell.

Oh, and I study till at least 12am every night unless I am like real tired. And I studied for like at least 10 hours yesterday and am so proud of this. Haha. I shall work hard :) Very very hard! Yay. Come come, motivation come.

But still stuck at Stalin's Russia. Last 5 pages and there you go. Rubbish chute! Haha.

Till our next hello, it's not goodbye.
Goodbye!

"不管我做得再多，都不能改变吗？
我不是她，不是你喜欢的人，也不如另一个她。
这是我第一次笑得这么开心，
可是，

不是对我笑。"

2009-09-11T18:32:00.004+08:00

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart, that I left unspoken.

I have 6mins left here or else Huimin's gonna bug me. Zz. She's sending a sms every 1 min. 4 mins left. Let's use my skills to breeze through all that I have to say!!

Anyway, I'm left with 15 chapters of Phys, like shucks -.- But mostly all those in front. Erm, Chapter 1 to 15. Covered the rest behind, did some of the tb exercises. I think I still can't make it for structured. I wish Os were all MCQs. Zz. Sian. And then I have like a lot more chapters to go for History because I only did 2. I insist on my chapters:) I hope Chapter 6 will come out but then again, I don't want chapter 7! They're under the same thing. Shit. Then I want Cold War, War in Europe, Germany + Russia? I don't know. This, I shall decide later!

Huimin, you're irritating!! There, I've 1 min left.

Goodbye.

2009-09-10T19:56:00.002+08:00

Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though its breaking.

If you don't have the patience to read this, then forget it :)

請珍惜每一個愛你的女孩

其實有時候在你身邊的女孩
你常常不知道她為你付出了多少
甚至在無形中傻傻的傷了她的心

即使是你令她難過流淚
她也會說不是你
寧可說是沙子跑進眼睛
即使是你把她用到生氣
她會耍個小任性
因為她想讓你注意
但是她會開始覺得沒有你她不行
所以會心軟的包容你

即使你總替別人撐傘
她也願意在雨中等你
即使你的目光總是別人的身影
她也會在你的背後當你的影子

當你遇上了麻煩
即使沒有表現出來
她也會在心中暗自焦急

很多時候也許你不知道
她難過的時候不想讓你知道
怕你會離她遠去怕你認為她麻煩
寧可躲在棉被裡哭
哭過之後即使有傷痕
也會藏得好好的
當作甚麼事都沒有發生過
即使心中依然鮮血淋漓

當你找到真愛的時候
也許她會很難過但是她會祝福你
因為看到你快樂她也會跟著快樂
即使那個人不是她

如果她不喜歡你
她不會讓自己為你掉一滴淚
因為不值得

如果她不喜歡你
她不會讓自己受那麼多的苦
因為沒必要

如果她不喜歡你
她不會讓自己在你背後守候
因為那很累

但是今天她喜歡上了你
再不值得她都覺得值得
再沒必要她也覺得必要
再累她也會覺得甘之如飴

即使今天你只是對她笑一笑
沒有代表任何的意義

所以請珍惜你身邊每一個為你守候的女孩子
如果你不珍惜當她真的遍體鱗傷
也不會再像個候鳥等待期盼你回頭看她的那一天

如果哪天她真的飛了你也不必意外
因為你沒珍惜過她她又何必努力嚮往你的世界來約束自己

如果哪天她真的離開你也不用想回頭珍惜
因為到時的她也許就真是鐵了心
對你已經完全放棄

所以請你珍惜你身邊
每一個愛你的女孩子
每一個為你受傷的女孩子
每一個為你擔心的女孩子
每一個為你快樂的女孩子

等到真的失去她的時候
你才發現她是無可取代
那時也來不及了

Quite true, no one will bother if not for this.

Haha, anyway baking session with Xuemiao today failed. New oven's fault. I've never used it before so we tested it. Put 3 cookies in for 20mins at 200 Degree Celsius. It came out burnt like o.o Haha. I have the picture in my phone but I can't really upload it cos active sync is nuts like usual.

I've a lot of things to say but each time I come here, my mind goes blank.

2009-09-09T22:29:00.004+08:00

What happened to forever

Back, studying till late was quite good, at least it was all quiet because everyone went home:) Yea, but it wasn't very productive because Phys questions always makes me stuck. I've got a lot of wrong answers or maybe the TYS is wrong hor! Think so la. They even provided 4 wrong answers for MCQ question. Lol. So I may be right, it may be wrong! Haha.

兩人依靠的雙手，再也無法給於溫暖

What happened to surprises
What happened to the compromises
What happened to the romance
What happened to holding my hand
What happened to our love
What happened to us

Ignorance is the best way to survive those heart piercing words.

I've got a feeling, you know everything. Reading everything. I don't know why. It's just a feeling that leads me to think of it. What really happened, beats me.

Drained out.

2009-09-09T08:30:00.004+08:00

我很开心 :D

Hi people, not to worry. I'm fine. I've given up struggling with myself. Let things be the way it should be. I'm not as strong/ powerful to change what fate has in store for me. Just bear with it :)

Out to study, back at night!

2009-09-07T11:23:00.002+08:00

I think I miss you.

Ruiqi Tan get Fortune Cookies number 129. Below are the explanation of this fortune cookies :
"Place special emphasis on old friendship."

Yes, right. Only after I've chosen to just let go of it.

K, I shall not be so bad. I shall talk for a while more, bathe, buy lunch back and start on History. Nightmare I swear :( Don't feel like blogging now. Byebye.

2009-09-06T21:21:00.006+08:00

Stop those tears.

Hehe, haha, hoho. Hi people. Please do not be sad anymore. I'll try my best to be happy. Even if I'm sad, I won't make anyone sad. I'll just cry at night while I'm in bed and be fine the next day! :D

Thanks people, cheered up.

Xin tong si le.

2009-09-06T09:16:00.004+08:00

Live life to the fullest.

I shall fill today's post with smileys because I promised that today will be a happy day. I'm going to fill my day (messages, msn and whatever) with LOLs and HAHAs. Tried my best and since this thing doesn't go my way, I might as well just leave it, heck and let fate decide right? I believe in fate so much, recently.

Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible–controlling that which we cannot–and instead, focus on what is possible–which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.
- Melody Beattie

I'll be back at night to spread happiness again :) Hee.

2009-09-05T20:57:00.001+08:00

Why do you run away when I want to see you most?
Why do you appear when I'm about to let go?

2009-09-05T14:45:00.003+08:00

Searching for something on the other side of the world.

It's totally embarrassing to say that after so many different experiences from the past, I've yet to make myself immune about the topic on friendship, I've yet to be able to differentiate the true from the fake and the good from the bad. Screw myself. I'm someone who needs recognition and though I prefer some time alone on my own, it doesn't mean that I like to be alone all the while. It's sad to say sometimes that I'm not the one whom most of you turn to when things happen but yet I'm the one you go to when you've no one else. I'm sorry, but I'm not your substitute.

I try to let go and unhappy things but this is when more things flooding the mind, more emotions, more confusion. I feel like telling you a lot a lot a lot of things but I'm trying to refrain myself from starting a convo lest you think I'm irritating. I wish, one day, you could understand everything. I may not be the first person you'll find when you're down, but I hope that someday I will be one.

2009-09-05T09:16:00.002+08:00

Turn around and fix your eye in my direction, so there is a connection.

當這一天到來的時候，
是我真的絕望，真的心碎，真的疲倦了。
因為有太多太多的時候，我都是裝，
雖然我總是裝作無所謂，可是我真的不在乎嗎？
而你呢？會在乎我的一切嗎？
我懂，其實都是我不好，我不該讓你生活中，生命裏，有我的存在，
我該做一個默默守候你的愛人，默默承擔一切，
偷偷等你，想你的人。

2009-09-04T21:47:00.002+08:00

What hurts the most was being so close.

I had the worst Biology exam today. Disappointed, like totally. Shit. And I'm going mad now!!! I want it also!!! Gotta get it anyway. Believe that hard work pays off:) It will. Gonna work hard. Work very very hard:) I still only have motivation for this.

如果一天，
我真的累了，垮了，
你会在旁边扶着我，
喊我一声加油吗？

2009-09-03T19:19:00.004+08:00

Why did I let myself believe, miracles could happen

Things to complain about:
1) I missed out new trade rivals for SEQ. It's one of the three points given but I missed out. I don't know if I'll still pass that part of the question. Hope I will do okay, I want to do better than okay. Zz.
2) I have 14 marks deducted for Emaths, those that I didn't do. And I can assure that there's a lot of careless mistakes. My angle of elevation and explaining still sucks. Buck up manxzxz.
3) For the first time, I said that Social Studies sucks.

Things that makes me happy:
1) Played in school after exams, quite fun :D haha. But we're like super childish. Who says that grown-ups must be mature right!
2) Unlimited messages! :D I can spam now! Love M1!

Chalking up posts at a very high rate :D

Biology tomorrow leh, I like! But everyone else is complaining. I may not do well but I know that I will if I study hard because I like this subject.

I'm trying very hard but yet do not have the courage. I'm afraid of rejection, afraid of your ignorance, afraid of anything that could make my heart break.

2009-09-02T19:36:00.003+08:00

It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time

This is the first time I feel so bad because I think I screwed up my languages papers today :( What's gonna help me this time round? What do I have left? I lost faith even in Biology, Social Studies and Emaths. Nothing else left. Pft. Ugh. I need to start my engine, zoom zoom~ I think it broke down.

Have been so damn lame recently because that's the only way of entertainment I can find, yes, it's my entertaining myself -.- Wish something could really make me happy. And maybe that something never happens.

Soon, it'll be time to peel down this thick layer of masks. And sorry, you won't see that smile anymore. It has been fake all along, to try to pretend that I'm someone whom I'm not. I really know how to hide my feelings well.

Sometimes I watch the world go by
I wonder what it is like
To wake up every single day
Smile on your face
You never try

2009-09-01T21:22:00.002+08:00

Don't say goodbye cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight.

I'm not even halfway through Social Studies. Shit. Ageing population wasted so much of my time and yet I can't remember anything T.T Sheshhhh. I haven't start on Emaths and Biology leh :( Study plan failed!! I really should start mugging already. Have to believe that I'm smart or else I won't be in Nanhua, I'm smart or else I won't be in special. I'm smart! T.T Ah. Can't survive 'cos I lack the diligence. But I'm gonna make up for it now!! Ew.

And it's the first time I feel so upset about language paper tomorrow. Ain't confident about it at all this time round. Unprepared :( Pft. Pray that lady luck will be with me everyday for the whole Prelims.

Jiayou everyone, Jiayou you.

2009-09-01T11:24:00.005+08:00

There's a star in the sky and it's shining for you.

I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today. I will finish Social Studies today.

I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow. I must start on Biology tomorrow.

It's not that I don't care, but I'll just act as if I don't. I'll still be as happy as ever in front of you. It's not others responsibility to cheer me up, it's not right to spoil others mood. Somehow, I'll manage to maintain the facade. Watch me. Strong on the outside, vulnerable on the inside but it's okay. I will survive this heartache.

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same, hoping they will never change.
'Cause what we had can't be replaced
Don't let our memories fade away, keep me in your heart for always

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go separate ways

2009-08-31T18:46:00.003+08:00

That's the way I feel about you and me.

Proper post today because I didn't manage to yesterday. I should really learn time management. Please let me finish SS by tomorrow :/ Population under Governance sucks. It's sort of like, all those policies thing. Cannot remember!!! I only know graduate mother scheme. Zz. Around 2 months to Os. Shit manxzxz. I should really start working already :( eeee. I don't wantttt. Pft. But I should. I must. Sucks.

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Lost the kind of motivation, lost the kind of encouragement, lost the confidant I used to have. Lost everything.

记得吗？It has all passed. All I could do is to pray that it will come back to me someday. What hurts the most was being so close. Maybe studying will be the best choice to distract me from these.

Hi prelims, bye stupid thoughts.

2009-08-30T21:36:00.001+08:00

Loved and lost.

NO TIME TO BLOG BECAUSE I GOT TO RUSH OFF BUT I'M SO HAPPY COS I HAVE A LOT OF SONGS NOW. THANKS PEOPLE :D BLOODY SUCKER. ACTIVE SYNC SUCKS. IT DOESN'T ALLOW ME TO PUT SONGS INTO MY PHONE. SHIT YOU IDIOT!!

2009-08-29T13:07:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday, brother! (Though you won't see this)

Getting fed up with the Moyea converter. Shall not use it. Can anyone with a lot of songs in their phones, please lend your phone to me on Monday so that I could send some to my phone. Zz. And, I'm gonna go to Singtel to change my earpiece later -.- It's like, super loud on one side and super soft on the other side -.- Zz. And I haven't really used it. Nevermind.

Motivation isn't here :(

When I was younger, I used to think that it's good to have a lot of friends. At least, that meant having someone to fall back on. But then I realised, it'll always be the same few people who will stand by you, supporting you even if the dumbest choice is made. Those are the real friends - those who never left you, those who encouraged you, those who picked you up from a fall each and every time. Yes, friends are forever. But that only applies to those who are true.

I've decided that FB sucks today because it ate my bloody long quiz just as I was about to post it. So I'm not gonna use FB for today. I shall not redo that quiz. But you seriously suck for wasting my time -.-

My thinking is different from yours to be exact. Why are we wasting time like that?

2009-08-27T19:50:00.003+08:00

I see some people fight for love.
Still had instocks left yesterday so yea, went for Samsung Omniapro :) I like! And maybe I'll be having like, er, unlimited messages soon? Heehee. Whoo. Chemistry tonight.

It's not the time for heart to take charge. Use your mind.

2009-08-26T16:57:00.002+08:00

We were strangers starting out on a journey.

I forgot to mention that Xuemiao molested me yesterday okay. Pft, she touched my hair and slid her hand down -.- Zz, that sucker! Didn't know you were that disgusting okay. Tsktsk.

Nokia E63, LG Ice cream, Samsung Omniapro.
(NOOOOOO, SAMSUNG OMNIAPRO IS OUT OF STOCK ONLINE. SHIT. ) I don't feel like posting anymore :( Everytime I want a phone, it's always out of stock. Hot fav, hot fav, I've good taste -.- But I'd rather I've no taste so that I can have the phone lehhhh. Rawh.

Maybe I should've seen the sign, should've read the writing on the wall.
And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall.
No matter what you say, I still can't believe.
That you would walk away. It don't make sense to me.

2009-08-25T21:55:00.006+08:00

过去让它过去

Dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away,
Hold on,
There will be tomorrow,
In time you'll find the way.

2009-08-24T22:34:00.002+08:00

You're nothing, not at all something.

Fucking damn speechless now. Never thought it would end up this way. But please, before you say something, check if what you know is really true. If you wish to trust that person, so be it. I don't care. But it isn't you that I mention in my post. Whoever the person is who's so kind to mention it to people, if you're that great to know whatever I'm thinking then good for you. I didn't tell you, so don't tell people I did. I'm ashamed of being linked to a person like you.

"I'm too tired to listen
I'm too old to believe
All these childish stories
There is no such thing as faith
And trust and pixie dust

I try but it's so hard to believe
I try but I can't see what you see"

Too tired to bother about those false messages going on. Shall spare myself from the agony. shall not care anymore. Part of parcel of life I have to learn, accept and to prevent myself from the heartbreak. It's not my fault that I closed my door. Someone, try to open it for I don't feel good. But I don't wish to share it with some people right now. Memories are memories, they're there for a reason, for a lesson learnt. I'm not gonna erase them. So who am I to trust you when you no longer have trust in me? Impossible. Just forget it. Don't waste my tears. I'd rather be alone.

你不相信，我也罢了。没这么多力气和时间与无聊的人争辩是非。我问心无愧。至于你相信谁，你自己决定。但失去了的信任，我想我花再大再多的力气也终究是如此的后果。我对你和你对我的信任是不可能得回来的。

I guess the person you can trust most is yourself. I've had enough.

2009-08-24T22:16:00.001+08:00

2009-08-23T20:04:00.003+08:00

Will I ever see you smiling back at me

Forget you 'cause all I wanna do
I've gotta face the truth
'cause this just ain't no good for me

I can finally change my phone! :) Gotta go for those with qwerty though the keys are terribly small and my fingers are huge like -.- hope Singtel doesn't scam my bloody feelings :'( and I realised that my phone never last. Not fated to be with the phone. But this phone will only be with me for a year I guess? Haha. Because I wanna change to Starhub after my plan ends:) Yes. Hope things go well. Poooo :) Wanna work and wanna do a lot of things. I wanna pay for my own spendings. It's time to learn how to be independent! Think I'll be working during JC also. Whoooo~

I feel so much better right now and I hope I don't see those whom I don't want to. I'll just hope that you're well (you can't be any better, I guess). Anything la. Zz.

Love my blogskin ttm :D Hahaha. It gives me the motivation to post again. K la, if I don't like the blogskin, I won't even change to it so yea. Lol. Byebyebyebye, off to check on phones already. Or to play some games.

Start of a new week tomorrow! Chiong ah!!!

(P.S. Xinyi, blogger seriously hates you la. Don't let you update picture. Look at mine!!)

A miraculous happening will just be well
To suit my feelings right now

2009-08-22T17:47:00.004+08:00

Like a shooting star, I'll go the distance.
"Down an unknown road to embrace my fate, though that road may wander, it will lead me to you. And a thousand years would be worth the wait, it may take a lifetime but somehow I'll see it through."

Such a bum, I woke up only at 11am. Today feels like a dream I don't know why o_o Feels floaty. Things seem so unreal, look so blur and vague. Shall finish one Biology P2, remaining questions of SCGS Emath paper and errrr, Olevel Emath paper 2008. If not I shall not sleep. And, I actually forgot it's Saturday today. Wanted to call the dentist to make an appointment for review but it's closedddd. Someone, please remind me on Monday! :)

Feels good to let go of some things right now. Though I may not be at my strongest right now after giving up, but at least I've made an inference from the fact that you didn't reply. You're not bothered by it. Now at least, I know I don't need to care so much because it's not worth crying over something that I can't possibly change/ make a difference to it. I should stop looking for the answers that I doubt will come. Maybe someday, you'll walk right up to me and tell me how you're thinking. I wish. Wish you could open up to me someday, wish you could care a little more. Think that half a year is meant to be part of my memories. Late night messages, online spams, blog defaming, doodling on messengers and wtvr.

Wonder if there's a reason for me to reminisce those times when we were close.

I've understood why people claims that there's a reason why people didn't make it to your future. And I believe that this statement is true: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. Perhaps, I may still be waiting till then.

You hear what I say when I don't say a word
You are my rising sun, you're the place I run
You know how it hurts when everything falls apart

Aye, it shall all be memories then! This issue just makes me damn speechless like how the person makes me speechless. Nevermind, I'll be okay. Blow wind blow, troubles shall be gone!:)

2009-08-21T22:15:00.002+08:00

Waiting for the call that never came.

Night study was quite good leh :) Did Biology, again -.- But I managed to finish like 2papers and a few of the 3rd paper's question! Hee. Good! I shall study Chemistry soon. Social Studies and History also. But I seriously suck at sitting down. I have to walk around at least once per hour. That's why you always see me wandering like ... to a lot of places in between lessons. K la, maybe it's just the water cooler place and toilet. Lol.

It's time to self reflect on how things have been going so far. So far, so screwed. All I can is that seriously, people do change. And sometimes, what we can do is only to accept the fact that they changed and not harp on the reason why they changed. The constant thing in world is change. I may have changed but I know I haven't give up on any friendships. But the friendship I care about most seems like the one I feel helpless about.

~~Two~~ One way track.

2009-08-20T21:35:00.002+08:00

When you're standing at the crossroad, don't know which path to choose, let me come along 'cos even if you're wrong, I'll stand by you.

Life's been boring and monotonous. Not really that much things that are happening. As in fun ones. I cannot stand it anymore manxzxz. I need to rant. Night study has a pretty okay and I wish I could start mugging like how others do. But you know, I really suck at sitting down. I'm serious. Like maybe around 15 minutes, I'll start wriggling like a worm -.- Lol. Yea. I want to eat Subway tomorrow! It's very random.

I keep thinking recently: What if I die before telling everyone what I want to say? What if I haven't got any chance to tell what I want to say? I don't want to die without telling people how I really feel towards them. I don't really wanna die this early though life's really stressful and meaningless at time :(

I just shut my eyes for 1 minute and I nearly fell asleep. I shall sleep, stop thinking. I shouldn't be an ass, sitting in front of com, putting my hand on keyboard and falling asleep.

I really wish I could just let go of it. It's not that I care too much. Rather, it's because you seem like you don't care and that's why it looks as if I care too much. Hm, shouldn't think about too much. Won't really fight to be close again but am not going to let go either. Yes, not putting it down, not leaving it behind. I'm carrying this burden with me, even if it means a lifetime.

Goodnight everyone :)

2009-08-19T22:49:00.002+08:00

Happy 600th post, Seraphic Masquerade :)

Xuemiao spit water yesterday at Ramenten and Xinyi and her put on a very great show for me, Tan Ruiqi, to watch! Haha, laughed till I cried. Bloody funny. Haha, it was like a drama. Lmao. Zz.

And I screwed my bloody English O's oral. Fucked up. My best component became my worst because only reading, I stumbled upon 5-10 words. How do I get a shit 'A' for it. I don't want B, C, D, E or F. Fine with only A1 and A2. I was like swallowing my saliva, wanted to continue on with the next thing to say but the teacher was so quick that she asked another question. What the bloody hell. And right, the next time she attempted to, I continued to say things and just ignored her. Pft. I don't care. I have my rights. Tsk. But it was damn hard. Spot on again, Natural disaster, eh wtf. Zz. Nevermind. It's over.

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one,
to build me up and tear me down,
like an old, abandoned house.

I don't like to lose my good friends. Neither do I wish to lose my good friends to friends.

2009-08-18T22:26:00.003+08:00

Piece the letters, form the words, string the sentences that you want to say.

I wish I was a psychiatrist. I would have known what you were thinking. I could have spared myself from this bloody agony okay =.= Anyway, I think I'm gonna die so badly for English oral tomorrow :( Damn, please let sports come out this time round!! Four year in NH, I've never gotten sports for Oral, so please let it be this time round! Hope it will be. Love/friendship for me is fine too!

Sometimes I feel like the person in the picture on top. So tired. I want a rest!!!

Shall scram off because Im like dozing off in front of the computer T.T goodnight!

2009-08-17T22:19:00.002+08:00

Heart, struggling to keep it as a whole.

English oral on Wednesday!!!!! Shit. I have lost touch with English since like very long ago because I have been speaking Chinese everyday. Now, I can say everyday as "everythay". Shit manxzx. People don't know how to pronounce the "th" sound and yet I'm using too much of it, I can't control myself. And I don't know how to pronounce sixth. I'm speaking and reading as I'm typing now, trying to pronounce every word. I hope the conversation will be on sports, or something that I can elaborate on. I think sports is the easiest topic out of all. And pray that I can talk a lot about the picture until the teacher says stop. Lol.

I want to see you because I want to know if you're doing fine. I don't want to see you because I feel so heartwrenched about our friendship. You make me sound and feel like someone with split personality.

I was part of your life, but I wasn't able to make it through to this phase of your life. I may not have been who I was expected to. But well, you're still now, a part of me.

Let's just go and sleep. Damn tired! :/

2009-08-16T15:16:00.002+08:00

Love truth, but pardon error.

Facebook is one that really knows me other than you:
"You find it hard to love others through all the walls you've built around your heart from being hurt so much throughout life."

Yes, hurting too much for friendships. But I think I've been trying my best. I tried my best to try to give all I can in friendships but sometimes, it's not that I get what I give. Sometimes, I feel tired of giving too. It actually hurts a lot. Yes, giving "different class" as an excuse of drifting apart is lousy, it's dumb. But looking back at those history, I realised I've been the one trying to initiate a conversation and yet most of time, I don't get friendly replies. I'm sorry to say, I've been giving my best all the while. If you think I've failed as a friend to help swallow your sorrow, I guess it's over. Friendship's about accommodating.

"They say if you love something let it go. If it comes back, it's yours."
I doubt it'll come back once I let go of it. This friendship is really worth too much, it's really too important and impossible for me to risk it. So, I'm holding on to it. I don't want to regret in the future so now, I'm trying my very best to do what I can to salvage it. I hope I won't be too dependent on you, you'll be better off alone.

Pieces.

2009-08-15T17:39:00.003+08:00

I WILL WAIT FOR THINGS TO CHANGE, FOR THE BETTER. I BELIEVE IT WILL. I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP ANY HOPE :)

(P.S.And, I'm grateful that I still have good friends who're still standing by me.)

Now, on to work. I should not be wallowing in self pity, should not be hiding away from my problems. Fight! :)

2009-08-15T11:57:00.002+08:00

A word is just a word, till you mean what you say.

"As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever."

How much I feel like saying this.

Now, hold back the tears, I won't cry anymore. It's not as if I'll have those memories back, not as if I'll have those used-to-be's, not as if things will change for the better. I thought I'd try my best to salvage those friendships that were different from before but this is enough. I don't think I have the courage for another. There's a reason why some people didn't make it to your future. And there's a reason why I didn't make it to your future either. Maybe, I'm not as great. Or perhaps, I've failed as a friend. But I don't want a dumb reason as an excuse. It's okay to say that our friendship started because of badminton, but it's not okay that our friendship ended because of badminton. I did cherish this friendship, but this time round, it's beyond my control.

And, bruises all over my body, especially hands. I like volleyball so there's a price to pay. It looks like shit now. Please do not gasp in horror when you see it because it really looks like child abuse -.-

Too tired. Need a break.

2009-08-14T23:08:00.002+08:00

Pieces of my heart are missing too.

Thought we could make things right, thought we could start all over again, thought we could be good friends once more. It's not going to happen anymore. Thanks for all those memories. I'll remember those things. But am just very very very unhappy that our friendship ended because badminton ended. It's not a good excuse, It's not. It sucks, would you find a better reason? I seriously feel like shit. Thought I was brave enough but when it comes to friendship, I still falter. What did I do to deserve this piece of crap? Can't stand it, cried my heart out. I don't want to let go, I insist on holding on. Sorry to be such a sucker but I don't think I can accept it as a reason.

Anyway, night study was pretty okay today. Tonight wasn't more emo, pretty much same in the day. Results slips back, wasn't that bad. CCA record slip back, good for me. Lol. Yea, I wanted to blog about something but I can't remember because some things took up too much of my memory space.

2009-08-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

And when you smile.

My goodness, its so bloody tiring to be spending uh, more than 12 hours in school? -.- It might as well be our first home right, argh. Anyway, Prelims postponed till a week later :D Damn happy, hehe. Now, the decision about poly and JC remains ... I'm so super unsure of my own choice too. If I'm going to JC, I would be taking China studies, Econs, Math and Hist? Hist, save me the horror. Shucks.

Okay, I should finish Biology TYS, start on Emath papers tomorrow. Or maybe Amaths. I cannot keep doing Biology. Go go go! :) Fight, hee! (Don't resort to violence!) I'm so lame, can't stand myself either.

Can we start all over again? Go back to those times? If you know you're who I'm talking about, please at least let me know that you know.

:(

2009-08-11T22:20:00.005+08:00

You gave me a reason to stand up strong.

Another failed attempt to change my blogskin :) Hee. My emotions went like haywire? I seriously have no idea how to express myself the way I really want to. And looking at some people are really sort of like, torture to me. I don't know why I can "lose" to someone like this and like that. It's okay that you dislike me but at least spell it out. Because I detest backstabbers more than those who speak the truth.

Though I'm not that perfect as a friend, at least I can say, I won't give up a friend whom I've known longer for a new friend. I'd choose to keep both. When you've decided on this choice, you should have known how things may turn out so why didn't you try your best to salvage the situation? Sometimes, I may have taken you for granted but I know I didn't treat you as a substitute. I'm not one who can accept you coming to me and leaving me as and when you like. I only want someone who's always there. I want someone who's loyal. I want someone and I know it's not you. You've the rights to choose the friends you want but there's always two sides to a thing. Listen to both sides/parties before you come to a conclusion. Or else, the cunning might win.

Mood is so heavy, brain's not working well. Not been myself recently. I won't succumb to these teeny weeny setbacks. I'll move on further. Thanks for making yourself my stepping stone, it will only spur me on but not get me down. Grateful to you for making the situation clear though not in the right manner.

Talked and went through Chinese CT2 paper and timed practice, P1. Badly done. My summary is shit, 8.5/20. Then the compo was .. Mr Kieu said that I finished the paper too quickly, first time. Zz. Because I was too tired that day to continue writing. Zz. Both letter writing and compo were badly done but nevermind, take this chance to identify mistakes :o K, I want to sleep already. Can't stand it. Night study again tomorrow.

Not the time to breakdown. Stronger than you think. Fight! :)

Quiz result from FB ( Real "True Colours" Test) : Orange
Values: Freedom, Adventure, Variety
Joys: Fun, Adventure, Performing
Strengths: Independence, Flexible, Optimistic
Needs:Freedom, Money, Recognition
Frustrations: Being on time, Unnecessary Routine, Lack of Money

At work you are bored and restless with jobs that are routine and structured and satisfied in careers that allow you to have independence and freedom. You are a natural performer.

In love you seek a relationship with shared activites and interests. With your mate you like to explore new ways to energize the relationship. You need to be bold and thrive on physical contact. You enjoy giving extravagant gifts that bring obvious pleasure to your loved one.

In your childhood you have the most difficult time fitting into academic routine. You learned by doing and experiencing rather than by listening and reading. You needed physical involvement in the learning process and were motivated by your own natural competitive nature and sense of fun.

It's bloody true, other than the being on time as a frustration part. And I love FB fortunecookie, it's forever that accurate. Accept something I can't change and I'll feel better. I will definitely.

2009-08-10T07:57:00.002+08:00

Strangers yet to meet?

I'm like starving now :( I've been alone at home since 5plus, after my dad has gone to work. My mum and my brother is over at my grandma's house because she's sick. So I survived through the thunderstorm earlier on. It was -.- dark so I just on the light and slept. Hee. Waste electricity but nevermind. It's only once :o

I'm like thinking of those useless things right now when all that I should be concerned about is Prelims and Os? 15 days to Prelims, or is it 14 -.- Shit. But whatever, I was thinking if I should learn driving :) Lol. Yesterday at around midnight. I don't want to waste 3k and then not drive in the future or when I want to drive, I have no license. So, I still haven't decide yet. Yea.

And I'm danm jealous of AJ because she's in Taiwan now, performing on stage and I'm here like slacking my days away? :( pft. I thought she learn singing on her own and can reach such a high standard but she actually started when she was 5 -.-

When I was 5 ... I was still playing with my barbie!! o.o

Nevermind, try my best try my best. Things will go my way:)

[/edited at 2.21pm]
I bought my bag already. Hehe. And I'm going to continue buying:D 但是，我不是败家女！Haha. Red :o Hot!

2009-08-09T22:00:00.002+08:00

I love Singapore.

I'm a true blue Singaporean because at 8.22pm today, I was at home. I stood in front of the TV and said the pledge and sang the national anthem. So proud of myself. Hee. Not a reason to be proud of but well, proud to be a Singaporean okay!:) LOVE SINGAPORE.

HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!

2009-08-08T17:20:00.002+08:00

Long long time ago

I've been on the com for very very very long already :o broke my record. It has been very very very long since I used the com for such a long time already:) I only have an hour per day because my mum's controlling me! I should be happy. Hee.

I did a lot of crap things online :o I want to take pictures. I want to buy camera. I want night study. I want ... something that's more important than this.

Actually all that I want now is to have you back :(

2009-08-07T21:30:00.002+08:00

Damn you, fucker.

You're a damn fucker. If you think that you're not up to the standard, then don't even get involved in it. You'll only ruin people. And thanks a lot. I don't need people to like me because I've got my circle of friends.

Hypocrisy.

You're bloody pro for making me so damn pissed and you're first person I'm scolding on the blog this time round. I seldom use fuck. But you seriously deserve it. Yes, get all your girl friends to spam my blog yea, I'll be waiting. Thanks to your flirting skills.

2009-08-07T14:11:00.002+08:00

TYVM 403 --- NETBALL INTERCLASS 2ND :]

Yea, today's celebration was awesome. #1, I got a trohpy plus certificate for Service Award. #2, 403 won 2nd for netball interclass. It was pretty fun though I think I was super unglam. I ran around like monkey, jump like monkey and yet I only defended one ball. Shucks. Then we're all sort of like quite rough. I'm very rough today. A lot of contact. I knocked Yijun's head but she doesn't know. Then Siewkiang and me banged into each other. Omg, very guilty -.- But I think we're all quite well. Yea. Thank you 403, last medal for netball interclass in Nanhua :)

Went to Mos for lunch with Xinyi and Xuewei. Saw .. and am not very comfortable with it. Yea, heartwrenching feeling ah. Xinyi, I know you understand. Xuemiao, I know you understand too. But yes, you ought to understand this kind of feeling to.

I think so many of us drifted apart already. Those close friends of mine, we're now not close anymore. Including you, you, you and you. I don't know how many you's there are. But anything la. I can't change the situation now. I can't do anything but watch helplessly.

TANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

2009-08-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

Promise

I promise to catch you when you fall,
but will you promise to stand up again?
I promise to stand by you when you're down,
but will you promise to cheer up again?
I promise to cradle you when you're weak,
but will you promise not to leave when you're strong again?
I promise to keep everything you said in my heart,
but will you tell me yours?
I promise to not break your trust,
but will you not break mine again?
I promise to be with you through long nights,
but will you promise to be still there in the morning?
I promise to wipe away your tears,
but will you hold your head high up again?
I promise to hold you till the end,
but will you promise to stay with me till the end?

I'm holding your faith,
pledging my own heart and soul.

This may be hard but we promise to stick together．I promise to do what you've asked, in return for one. Will you stay by me when tide comes, love me even when we don't agree? If this is true, it will be this case. Nothing will change.

Night study was pretty good. Stayed with Chantel and Xuemiao. Something we all have in common, somewhere we are all stucked, somehow we've got to buck up and succeed. Come on, people. Have faith, we can do it.

Why do we have to suffer when they're all living well? Why do we have to tear when they're all cheery? Why do we have to make ourselves so bloody miserable when no one even knows and cares?

It's not worth. And please, will you take some time to realise it?

2009-08-05T19:01:00.004+08:00

Damn, I caught the emo bug.

We got back all our results. Not bad. Improved quite a lot for L1R5. From 31 to 12. Chinese, Amath, Biology not really up to the standard I want. Nevermind. Work harder. Today is 5th. Prelims on the 24th. 19 days left, people!!

Skipped night study today because of early dismissal. Tomorrow's maths? Think so. Now I don't know what to do already because I don't want to run up to the class illegally and it's damn freaking bloody scary. I was !@#$%^& when I ran past the sky garden because it was so eerie. Seems like it's haunted. Totally. Zz. I'll be good tmr and just bring home the books. Yes. Long weekend too. I want to watch movie :( With people I want obviously.

Really, there was. I'm not lying. I'm not hallucinating. There really was something.

I miss. Would you mind if ...

2009-08-04T22:36:00.002+08:00

You're the only one who calls me that.

Weigh down by the burden. Gonna give up. People have doubts about it but it's alright. I can't believe I've given up too. I have been persisting for too long. Tried so hard to let go, to remove the burden with all my might. Sometimes, I can't bear to. But it will be fine, it will get better as I go.

So many things to say, so many people to thank, so many issues to forget, so many memories to be kept, so many heartfelt words to be confessed.

Just play along with it.

2009-08-03T22:52:00.003+08:00

Standing stronger than ever, harder than before.

I forgot the joke of the day. It came from Xuemiao. I don't know what happened. I think it's something like that.

Xuemiao: Yes, I'm trying my best already!
Me: To do what?
Xuemiao: Go to the toilet!

She actually talked halfway and the next moment we reached the toilet and she just continued. We burst out laughing at that instant. Lmao. My friends are all very weird recently. Xinyi keeps snorting! I don't understand why when it's like damn disgusting and unglam? Ew. Sucks. Amaths was beyond hope. Fought a war. And I lost so bady.

Night study was okay la. But a lot of people were around, very noisy. Yea, but at least we got something great. Go people! Last SPA practice of this year! :) Last!! So sick of SPAs already! I want my Chinese and Biology results back. Hope it isn't too bad :(

I'm only at the starting point, beginning to mark out the bits and pieces of my journey:) Reach my target, reach my target. If people believe that I can, then why not?

2009-08-02T20:32:00.002+08:00

Create a destiny of our own.

My blogger is like smaller in font? I like it! And the font changed. Super cute. Hahaha. I like! And I realised everytime people says that their blogger has problems, mine is always fine! Haha. Love you blogger, please do not crash on me soon or any other time alright!

There's night study! *grateful x 9876543210 times* Seriously, I hope night study is gonna be fun, gonna be cool. A session for us to work hard, then play and have fun! 403/202 people, please do not die down after the first few sessions alright. Get this working. I believe it'll help us in one way or another! Go people.

Arron's cute like ever. And I want to learn singing like real soon. After 100+ days. Haha. I'm gonna meet him someday. Love him a lot! Hope he doesn't get attached okay. Remain single, I'll get you someday. Lol!!

K, bye. I'm gonna do Amaths!

2009-08-01T19:54:00.003+08:00

Miss those times, those well-occupied time with you.

1.Real Name:
Tan Rui Qi

2.Your Gangsta Name:
(First four letters of name plus izzle)
Tanrizzle

3.Your Detective Name:
(Favourite colour, favourite animal)
Pink Tiger

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(last name, current street)
Tan Street 24 (Xuemiao's a noob, last name should be surname but she puts it as miao!)

5 . YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's name)
Tanrungh, sounds cool enough.

6. SUPERHERO NAME:
(2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Whitetea, so not heroic.

7. IRAQI NAME:
(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your moms middle name)
Unquuje, wah this sounds good.

Okay, I actually have the urge to change blogskin but don't want la, waste of time. Lol. Should be studying time already. Prelims is 3 weeks away and damn it I swear, there's almost zero confidence in Physics and Chemistry. Gotta find time to really sit down and analyze or like, understand the chapters by using psychological methods lor. Zz. Hm. But I suck at memorising the tables for chemistry and the formula for physics! And that's perhaps why I always can't do calculation sums. Yea.

Anyway, ORD was pretty good today. But before that we managed to play netball. Cool, but I feel old because I'm so easily tired! Then we went up to the classrooms for a slideshow. Juniors gave us our cards. Thank you to juniors! I've got Ruiqi, our future popstar and YYL's. Yay. Haha. Had some food then we went to play matches! Totally rocks though I can't run anymore. Yea, you bet. We'll be back someday, to give back what we've gotten from NHBT.

Lunched at Clementi Central with a group of people, pretty random de. Yea, talked a bit, a teeny weeny bit and then homed. I like Saturdays. Fun and exciting day. I don't know why but there's just something that attracts me. Haha. I love Fridays also because it's the last day of the week!

Seriously looking forward to post O's activites! I want to go to Sentosa, for what I don't know. But yala, whatever. Lol. Just out. I hope google will increase faster, tsk! K, I'm going to study Biology later! Chiong ah! :D

I like this kind of motivation. But it'll definitely be better if you're around. Hm. Anyway, Ah leong ah, burnmidnightoil partner! Please don't let me sleep! And remember that we should not abandon each other and should go to (different) bed together! I'm really super tired anyway. Too much exercise today. And I should not be exercising. Till 3rd Aug, which is Monday. So I'll start PE on Tues. But, my phlegm has been with me for 2 weeks and it's not gone yet. Suckerrrrrrr :/

Zoom with the wind~

2009-07-31T22:05:00.003+08:00

"On August 7th 2009...

At 34 minutes and 56 seconds past 12...
the time and date will read...

12:34:56 07/08/09

12 34 56 7 8 9

This won't happen again for another thousand years!!! Amaze your friends :-D"

Above data from Angelina's blog. It's so bloody cool:)

Anyway, it's like damn tiring -.- We had like E maths, Chinese P1 and Social Studies timed practices. I studied till 12 for SS yesterday but the PAP thing can't get into my mind. But miraculously, I managed to cram the information in within half an hour in the morning. But it was too rushed. Like, 45 minutes for 2 SEQ. Struggling like mad. Think some of the people didn't finish the second essay question also. I was almost done. Yea. Chinese P1 was damn hard. I totally had mind blocks -.- And my lun shuo wen seems weird, think it li ti-ed. Lol. Then find Mrs Chang for Physics. I understand leh!! Lol. Then she gave us teacakes:) Hahaha. Marks and Spencer. It was actually Mr Liu's but he left it on her table after eating then she gave Xinyi and me one each. Then Mrs Leuar walked over and gave us keychain! Haha, Yoketing and I took pink, Xinyi was extra and took blue. Hahaha. K la, if she took pink, I wouldn't have pink anymore. Lol.

And people keep complaining about financial crisis or whatever, saying they've no money or what shit, but I keep seeing LV bags around. Is the LV bag fake or have you become richer? Zz. I don't even think that the crisis happened to Singapore lor.

Singapore flyer!! :D

2009-07-30T21:22:00.002+08:00

Hard work will pay off.

I forgot to mention Nan Hua's Got Talent was held yesterday. And I stayed for nearly the whole performance, missing the first and last. Because we were eating lunch and we missed the first. Finished watching BBoys, left and missed the last. Haha. There were those with really good voices but y'know, some were really bad. Went to ISH to watch the juniors train but they were playing bball instead. Lol. I really ain't cut out for it. I don't even know how to bounce the ball, which is damn idiotic -.- We used to learn dribbling in primary school. Rawh.

Chinese and Social Studies Test tomorrow. Bonding should be pretty okay but I haven't really memorise the things till very familiar. After I'm gone from here, I'd go brush up. SS is the first two periods. No time to lose. Gotta scram.

ORD on Saturday, we can play netball!! Netball interclass on next Friday! I want to play but I need to study. Results have been pretty amazing. To my surprise. Lol.

I want to eat shaker fries!!!!

2009-07-29T20:36:00.002+08:00

Find beauty in ordinary.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
I used to say no, but now I'll say it all depends. Because Aquarius are look-conscious.

2. Smart?
Smart but not geek kind of smart.

3. Preferred age?
Older than me. The most by 7 years old.

4. Preferred height?
Taller but not too much tall.

5. How about sense of humour?
Doesn't really matter.

6. How about piercings?
1! Like Arron.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
Ya, obviously?!

8. Pink hair?
Nope. It's disgusting although I like pink.

9. Mushy or no?.
Appropriate times, not all the time.

10. Thin or fat?
Thin/Normal.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
Normal skin colour, I don't want too tan or too fair. Both cannot!

12. Long hair or short hair?
Short.

13. Plastic or metal?
Metal.

14. Smells good?
Ya, I don't want a rubbish truck at home.

15. Smoker?
No.

16. Drinker?
Uh, on special occasions.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
No, superstar. Arron!

18. Muscular?
No, I don't want. Average build is enough.

19. Plays piano?
Yes, YYL + Piano= Yuan Yi Bu Ai Ni

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
Piano. I don't like both.

21. Plays violin?
Piano!!

22. Sings very good?
Preferably.

23. Vain?
Vain in terms of?

24. With glasses?
Uh, both fine.

25. With braces?
Don't mind.

26. Shy type?
Not those very shy guys who can't be approached. To others, yes. To myself, no.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Just right.

28. Active or passive?
Both.

29. Tight or bomb?
Stop Nuclear War!!!

30. Singer or dancer?
Singer!!!!!

31. stunner?
Yes! He stuns everyone!

32. Hiphop?
Fine with me.

33. Earrings?
Hm, sentimental values.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-until-you-drop?

No. If he really has a lot but he's changed then it's fine.

35. Dimples?
Anything.

36. Bookworm?
No, general knowledge required.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
If he has the time.

38. Playful?
There's a limit to everything.

39. Flirt?
Not really.

40. Poem writer?
Nope. Song writer!

41. serious?
Ya obviously.

42. Campus crush?
Uh what.

43. Painter?
Nope, singer more preferred.

44. Religious?
It's better to be towards _ or _ than _. (Sensitive)

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
Not too over.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
KTV freak!

47. Speaks 20 languages?
No need.

48. Loyal or faithful?
Half of both.

49. good kisser?
No special request.

50. loves children?
As long as he's willing to contribute/ doesn't abuse or kill the child.

Chinese lessons gonna be lyrics thingum!:) Gonna be fun, gonna be fun. Lol.

2009-07-28T20:11:00.002+08:00

You're the best I ever had.

I didn't touch Chemistry at all yesterday. I attempted to study okay, but I fell asleep. Hahaha. Then Mewleng called me and told me about the paper. And like almost instantly, I put down the phone, I forgot all that I was supposed to study. So I went to eat mixed nuts. And slept. Lol. This is my life.

I haven't start Physics also. This is shitty. No sense of urgency. To think I used to worry so much about PSLE. Zz. Now, you can still see me slacking when O's 90 days away and I'm still having an L1R5 of around 30. Cool, ain't I? But I'm totally placing my results and future at risk. Pfttt, even I can't stand myself.

[Sidetrack/ breaking fortune cookie on FB!! It says "Your biggest virtue is your modesty." Thanks alot.]

I feel like I want to play play and play. Post O's activities all lined up. I don't want O's. Sheshhh. Whatever. Xuemiao, please meet what you said: To be girly. I'm waiting. And Xinyi, I hope you won't be left out next time. I'm very random and Idk what I'm talking. I only know I'm falling asleep again, shit.

Hi, bye, I'm gonna sleep. Goodnight people :)

2009-07-27T19:47:00.002+08:00

Learn to take things with pride.

Google is taking forever to reach $100 ):

Okay, this is not the time to complain about Google because even if it's working so slowly, I can't make it go faster either. And the best thing is to worry about Chemistry CT tomorrow. Sorry to tell Yvonne Lim that I'm not really planning to touch Chemistry this time round. As well as Mrs Chang. Because there's seriously no time at all. We have SS, Emath and Amath timed practice, Biology, Chemistry and Physics Common Class Test, Physics SPA. I forgot if Chinese timed practice is this week or next. But excluding Chinese, we've like 7 tests?!

Dawn: Wah, your class so hiong.
Me: No, is our class teachers hiong.

I should just flip my textbook. Self denial y'know. I can tell myself that, I read through (when actually I merely flipped through) and therefore, I can get higher marks and better grades. Aw. Sucker. O levels is coming. Save me!!!!!!!

And, granny's birthday celebration at the restaurant was damn cool. The #24 person came for her birthday leh! Haha. I don't like sharksfin, seriously -.- It's not nice, so I don't like it. Their abalone was normal normal. They had the baby octopus! :D hehe. Okay, nevermind enough of it, case you guys drool. Haha, I'm very bad.

I really want a touch screen phone, a bagpack, shoulder bag, wallet. In any case, the thing I need most is Vitamin M. Aww.

2009-07-25T21:08:00.003+08:00

Your difficulties will strengthen you.

Facebook fortune cookies never fail to read my mind. I only can say, it's by far the most accurate and trustworthy application. Thank the person for inventing it. He/ she must be the one who understands me the most. Because as I was thinking of my dream and cracking a cookie, it said

"Tan Rui Qi get Fortune Cookies number 248. Below are the explanation of this fortune cookies :

Your difficulties will strengthen you.

Tan Rui Qi get Fortune Cookies number 133. Below are the explanation of this fortune cookies :

Put your mind into planning today. Look into the future.

Tan Rui Qi get Fortune Cookies number xx. Below are the explanation of this fortune cookies:

How you look depends on where you go.

Tan Rui Qi get Fortune Cookies number 148. Below are the explanation of this fortune cookies :

Success is a journey not a destination.

Tan Rui Qi get Fortune Cookies number 96. Below are the explanation of this fortune cookies :

In the end all things will be known. "

Fortune cookies rock. Thank you so much:)

Anyway, Xinyi came over to my house today and it was super unproductive alright. Lol. We ate durian, maggie, watched TV, slacked, used com and she did shit stuffs. Lol. She took my make up set and started using the eyeliner to draw as if she was an opera singer. Then she touch up and became a panda on one side. Lol. Then another eye, she drew it normally and applied eyeshadow. She put on foundation and blusher. Next time she's gonna be someone who puts damn thick layer of make up on her face because she claims that she can't see any colour, when there's obvious colours on her face already -.- After that, she played with the mask. Lmao.

At least, it wasn't so unproductive for me. I finished 2 Biology paper ones. But those topics in the middle is still abit atrocious. And molecular genetics also. Totally sucks because of the RNA DNA TRNA things -.- Ugh. Gonna buck up because I really like Biology. I promise to do well. It'll most probably be included in my L1R5.

"Tan Rui Qi get Fortune Cookies number 166. Below are the explanation of this fortune cookies :

The sure way to predict the future is to invent it."

2009-07-24T20:04:00.003+08:00

"Stand tall. Don't look down upon yourself."

Just thought for a moment whether I could really make it to realise my dreams and somehow, it was difficult answering those questionings. And as I cracked a fortune cookie on FB, it states "Stand tall. Don't look down upon yourself." Don't know if it was to be a relief or supposed to make me continue dreaming.

And I don't understand why it takes the smallest amount of effort to bring me down, usually during the least expected period of time. Although it's kind of saddening now but gonna make it through. I know I need it, I know I want it. “有太多人被这种竞争磨平了自己的意志，磨去了自己的渴望，磨走了自己成为出色人物的机会。” 世界上总有你意想不到的事，越是艰难，我越是要克服。

为什么要向命运低头？I believe in fighting for what I want.

不说不代表不懂，不哭不代表不痛。
习惯了心中的那个梦想，却又被逼得想放弃。
老天就是那么爱做弄人吧？

Won't give up.And, screwed Social Studies today -.- Damn it. I think I won't even scrape a pass. Zz. Nevermind, work harder. Ugh. Xinyi's coming over tomorrow. And now, I need a breather, need a break, need a new start.

Heartwrenched.

2009-07-23T18:31:00.003+08:00

Please don't take my sunshine away.

Schedule really doesn't work for me. Lol. I've yet to start on Social Studies and it's like the first/second period tomorrow. Poo. Shall study soon. Only gonna read through roughly cos am gonna focus more on the rise of Venice.

E.Math timed practice today sucks because I think I did only half the paper or something? I don't have enough time and I keep doing the wrong thing. CEP lesson was meaningful today. Haha. I like this kind of things! I like inspiring, motivation quotes! Shall highlight a few important sentences.

"有太多人被这种竞争磨平了自己的意志，磨去了自己的渴望，磨走了自己成为出色人物的机会。"

"只有你心中有了渴望，你才能学会奔跑。"

"你内心深处一定知道自己的渴望是什么，不要怀疑它，将它唤醒！"

"千万不要甘于平庸，那只会让你永远平庸下去。"

The link on the page doesn't work so I can't provide it for y'all. But after seeing this, don't you feel like working hard for your dream? I feel like! But somehow, lack of vitamin M. Still gonna try.

Watch me shine :D

2009-07-22T21:02:00.004+08:00

Baby, I will wait for you.

If QQ is ever together with YYL as couple, I will be so super damn upset! No please, no!! YYL, please wait for me. I'll make it to Taiwan. You just sit there and wait la. Be nice and don't run away!

Seriously, we've got a lot in common and we've fate! Aiya, I'll tell y'all the stories sometime when I'm free? :D

But Yalun, you just wait.

2009-07-22T15:50:00.003+08:00

Not gonna love or hate, just like and dislike.

And the above sentence does not apply to YYL because I love him. Hahaha. Anyway, History was so damn screwed today. We got the same question as the other class but Laura Khoo went to change the question to something as vague as this "The Cold War was a Blessing. DYA. EYA." Then every one stared at it. Despite my constant effort to make my SEQ longer, I still ended my essay when it is not even one page full. Sucks. Dead shit again. Do better in SS on Friday!

Plus, good news! I passed both my Maths this time! :D Though there are quite a lot of careless mistakes I made for the Amath paper but at least, I know I can do it. I can make it to an A2 this time round but I didn't. It's okay. Strive!! Emaths was good. Pray that English and Chinese would be fine too. Now I've to worry about my Sciences. It's not anywhere near the standard.

Nevermind, go Ruiqi, go Ruiqi, go people! Everyone, let's make it! I'm gonna make it to where I want to be!!!!! Anybody wanna come along? :D And any rich people wanna sponsor me money during holidays? Haha.

2009-07-21T20:48:00.002+08:00

Crossed paths

I should just blog first. It's better than sitting in front of the computer.

Went to the doctor's just now. Nothing's wrong with me. Like seriously, doctors must be earning till their hands are soft lor! There are like 10 people in the queue for one clinic, 3 for another, 5 for the other other? -.- Wtheck. Zz. And I don't have H1N1. I don't want to be classified as "socially irresponsible" Ahem. I've 2 weeks of MC also!!

And, I don't like Cold War. Truman, Marshall etc. Zz. Can't remember these things. I only remember the front part. K, shall not waste time. I took 2 minutes to type this. Pro me. Oh, 3 minutes.

Bye people.

2009-07-20T20:33:00.003+08:00

Sad to be the second best.

Futile attempt to resuscitate Seraphic Masquerade. But I've been trying my best and will still try my best and ensure its survival and not be extinct.

AND NOOOOOOO! I HAVEN'T STUDY HISTORY. SHIT.

There are things that I want more than just a cert but I know that studies should still be the priority right now. 3 months. After these 3 months, I'm gonna be free. Why not do well? :)

Bye Seraphic Masquerade. Hi Cold War.

2009-07-19T21:20:00.002+08:00

Strong enough to withstand your constant attempt to break my heart.

I've got flu and irritating throat -.-

And I bought my second pair of Giovanna slippers from Vana. 3 days, 2 pairs of shoes, seriously, I cannot control myself manxzx. And I may still be buying on Saturday. Depends la :) Lol. Oh, and this time round, it's not bling bling. It's normal. But it's hot pink. Lol.

I want to post pictures up but I cannot. My phone doesn't have a camera -.- And now, I may be considering Nokia E63. Lol. Fickle minded me, but what can you expect? :) I'm a girl. Heeee.

Okay, I better remember to bring my SS file tomorrow -.- And homework. Plus, linear law sucks @.@ I don't know how to draw graph. Zz.

(P.S. FZH still refuses to reply my email!!! Sad leh! )

2009-07-18T20:37:00.003+08:00

It seems like I expertise in picking out your name everywhere.

I hope Music Story's promotion last till like forever. Lol. Promotion for vocal class is like $368 for 8 lessons. Beginner course is 12 lessons, intermediate 12 lessons, advanced 12 lessons and higher advanced 12 lessons. But let's hope we'll make it in time for "Very Singer", whooo!

100 days to O's, 34 days to Prelims. With so many screwed subjects, how am I gonna make it to the JC I want? Shit. Full time mugger/ screwed results, choose one. And I'll be none. A time table obviously doesn't work for me because I don't like restrictions. I may just get depression, slit and die. Lol. The only thing is to knock some sense into me now that I should be studying instead of being here? :/ Shit.

Xinyi, I'm gonna own you in O's :) Kay, I shall clear my table now. Start work. Zooom~ Super me! Haha, bye Xinyi, I'm gonna leave you behind. Have fun chasing!

*Shall wait for class video to finish transferring*

Oh, and btw, I think Music Story doesn't like me. I emailed them and they didn't reply. But I think Focus Music likes me leh. Because the teacher replied my email within a few hours and right he thanked me. Lol.

Me: *Ask questions*
Lao shi: Thank you for showing interest.
Me: O.o Lol.

只要是我的，没有人抢得走。
我相信，机会是留给准备好的人的！
冲！！！~

2009-07-18T14:07:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone, this is my dream.

I want to sleep already. I've been using computer since 8plus -.- Because I woke up early to eat my bread. Very nice!! Hahaha. Sultana Danish and Chocolate Danish! Lol. That's for lunch and breakfast!:D Haha. Anyway, I've been blogging for 4 hours and I'm still at the 3rd line? Hahaha, too busy searching up for vocal lessons. Waiting for FZH to reply my email. Or anyone wants to accompany me to his house? :)

Oh, and I bought Vincci sandals yesterday!:) Super bling. Wanted to buy Sony MP3 but I want Ipod touch that is bloody expensive. It's around $600. Zz. If not I want Ipod. Zz. Or Iriver? Hm, see how see how. Waste of money. Tsk. Iphone? :D

Focus music has an artiste development course but it's $240 per month! So ex. Think I'll join FZH, hopefully. Trying to ask my dad to ask my aunt to ask him about it. Depends on whether he's willing to. Yea. Anyone's interested in this too? :D And, I finished my song for YYL. As in the lyrics part. No idea about the tune part. But heck, I'm not a music producer. Lol.

Xinyi's man! -inside joke-

Anyway, I marinated a chicken. The whole chicken leh wtf. Zz. Chicken with neck, without head, with anus. Damn er xin. My mum asked me to marinate it because she was late for work. As I was holding the chicken, I was screaming all the way. Lol. Then I asked my brother to call my mum and asked her to go and die =.=

Because it was seriously damn gross.

2009-07-17T17:04:00.004+08:00

The one who dreams in the day, gets what he wants at the end. Because he worked hard and made his dreams come true.

Going to IMM later on:) I hope I can find a nice MP3/ Camera there! Expertise in wasting money leh, me. Nevermind, I'm gonna earn it back next time. Haha. Then I'd have a huge load on me in the future because too many instalments to pay. Lol. Aye, anything luh.

Lessons have been kind of boring, especially Chemistry and Physics. Don't get a shit about it y'know. Lagging behind for too long. History is like, damn confused about it. Venice is pretty fun but may not do well. Hahaha. And I hate globalisation -.- Zz. So many examples to remember. How it that possible for me to memorise all of it unless I'm a deity. Ohhh, maybe I really am. Lol -.- Totally self-entertaining and may land in the same plight as Y. Lim. Zz. Interesting thing that happened today.

Xianya: Omg, can see her belly button leh.
*Everyone who heard burst out laughing, Y. Lim and the rest in a blur and confused state*
- continues with lesson -
Jocelyn: Can you repeat the answer?
Y. Lim: The copper .... No, I know already. You tell me what happened then I repeat.
*Angelina turns around and whispered to Jocelyn*
Jocelyn: Oh, Lingyuan farted. It was damn loud.

LOL. It was super super funny, laugh non-stop. Xianya's a joker. Haha!!!

K enough, I want to bathe and sleep. Good~~night~~ evening.

2009-07-16T20:48:00.002+08:00

What's worse than losing a friend?

OB is damn expensive. Sucks :( Wth, I need to scrimp and save like ... to pay for the fees if I really want to join. Haiis. Is this really what I want?

Yes yes yes.

Oh, plus today's HCL paper is bloody hard. Think I screwed the whole paper. Damn it. Emaths was okay but I think I have a lot of careless mistakes. But by far, the Amath and Emath papers are the most completed ones. Compared to last year's or this year's wtvr, though I may not score well.

Let fate do its job. But I hope I'll have something real exciting coming up in the future. Please. I pray hard it is. Sheshhhh.

2009-07-15T19:46:00.002+08:00

I wish I could see right through your heart.

There, Lingyuan! :D I'm sorry, this is the only picture I have with you. Eh no, I have more but I cannot find on my computer now, I know it's somewhere. I never delete okay! During Oral, you take my mushroom pai zhao! Haha, anyway, belated 16 birthday. I said I'd post the picture up already.

I like my profile picture. Heehee.

And Ritz apple strudel's super nice!!! Taste like heaven. Lol. It's really very very nice. Sanko Almond Cheese also. The taste didn't change for like years and it's damn good because qualities of the other things seem to be dropping but they maintained the standard. Haw.

Xinyi: Just now we go that snake stall is called what ah?
Me: *stares*
Xinyi: Oh, snacks stall I mean. Snake stall I first to run.

Mind, her mental health's getting a bit too screwed recently. She'll start to be emo, after nanoseconds, she'll look at her phone and laugh hysterically as if someone's pants got ripped off -.- Damn sick. I don't know what's happening to her. Maybe like what she niam-ed for the whole afternoon: She's too deprived. Lol. Perhaps.

And today, I get to know marmite. And I thought I saw the chicken flavour one as bowel. Lmao. Maybe I'm getting deprived too. There's Emath tomorrow and I haven't start at all. My goodness. I'll sing before I go. Hahaha.

Goodnight everyone.

2009-07-14T19:09:00.004+08:00

Starting from here.

Pictures taken during fine dining. (From Yihshuan)

Awful salad because I don't like raw veggie):

Our very very chio drinks.
Carrot soup (we thought it was pumpkin soup)

Chicken steak.
Ice cream.
It wasn't social etiquette at all please. Lol. We're all laughing like mad. Hahaha. Whatever shit that is, it was just funny and fun. Ya, lol. Funny and fun may sound a little weird but it's like that lor. Lmao. Whooo~

Oh ya, Biology Skill 3 tomorrow!!! Shit case. I think I'm gonna do badly for it, like perhaps C6 -.- because it seems like there's always a curse. I always get 2/4 for practical. And best still, I have 20 SPAs to read right now. Damn.

不可以那么容易向命运低头

2009-07-13T20:15:00.002+08:00

Living up to the reputation.

I'm getting sick of the computer. Wish me lucks, pray that I leave this monster as soon as possible. And shit la, Biology SPA is on Wednesday and I have no idea how to plan experiment?! And it's totally impossible for me to get full marks for it please -.- I always get 2/4 which is 50%, C6. Walao.

I want a new phone too. Pft. Iphone? :) But I don't want to waste money on it. I'm changing next year also. Lol. My handphone never lasts for more than a year except Nokia 5300. Lmao. Preston, Pixon, Sony T1, LV bag? :D Hahaha.

Fine dining was ultra funny manxzx. Those who were hiding/ standing in front/ tall ones got called to pair up with the guys. The very lucky me, who stood at the last row, didn't get called and therefore managed to sit with all girls. Haha. Wangcai's damn funny!!!

*Instructor explaining*
Instructor: Guys, please ask the girls if they need pepper and pour for them.
Wangcai: Ga gi lai, ga gi lai. (Hokkien)

Then...
*pours pepper*
Clara: Axel nearly dropped the whole pepper shaker in.

Then...
*Guys, please stand up when the ladies want to go to the washroom*
Xinyi: Wo yao shang ce suo.
Wangcai: Nooooo.

HAHAHA, damn joker. Laughed like mad, du zi tong. Lol. And Xuemiao had a date with Chimpanzee, I had a date with ET. Aww. Lmao.

Omg, fine dining is fun but it's not very y'know. We were all super unglam. Haha. No, I was ultra glam. Xuemiao wasn't. Her chicken steak nearly flew and her veggie dropped onto the table. Hahaha. Nevermind. I still love to be with these people.

"It's the little things that are imperfect that makes things perfect." I believe so.

Problems that can be solved with money are not problems. Problems that cannot be solved with money are facts and we should learn how to tide over them. Some things can't be bought with money just because you're rich. Because you're rich, you're missing out far more simplicity than you actually should at this age.

Accept. Forget. Learn.

I was thinking whether I should buy Preston because it's $0, I don't want to spend money because I'll be changing a year later, then Xuemiao came up "I bought my new phone le!!!", "What phone did you buy?", "Preston" I'm forever a step behind people. Zz.

2009-07-12T19:35:00.004+08:00

GSP.

How come no one wants to tag when Google says I've 112 page impressions yesterday and around 40 unique hits?! Don't be lazy and press on "links" to see the tagboard la. Zz. And just leave a tag or something. Lol. Or else, you'll be categorised as stalkers. Haw.

Anyway, damn good. I actually forgot there's common class test and fine dining tomorrow!! Oh shucks. Memory is failing me. Shit. Zz. I have no idea how to do differentiation because I'm super darn careless and I can only do integration, the opposite of differentiation. Aw sucks. Damn, why am I so bloody suay. Shit you, common class test.

Studying seems so no-life but it gets me somewhere in the future. Playing seems so fun but it stops me at a certain point. No hurry to make a choice, but I'd have to make a wise choice. It seems that I'm still in the holiday mood. No sense of urgency like how it was during PSLE, where Mrs Mai is always hurrying us. I need someone to push me.

GOGOGOGO! Dream!!!

Feel something stronger & brighter

請珍惜每一個愛你的女孩

Boyzone : Shooting Star Lyrics